What I Wish I Knew At Age 19

Here's everything everyone wish they knew at the age of 19. The number next to it indicates the age the author wrote it at.

Hey 19 year old, Learning to have deep meaningful relationships take empathy. It doesn't mean you have to agree with what everyone is saying, but to at least take a person's perspective or side into account first. Put yourself in their shoes, for example.

Hey 19 year old, Real optimism is when you acknowledge there are a lot of problems in life and the world, but you still believe that something can be done about it. False optimism is when you deny anything is wrong in the first place, which is also called naivety.

Hey 19 year old, When stuck on a problem, try to see it in others' point of view. Ask what would (name of person) do about this problem? You can even name specific fictional characters, or name what a specific career would think of this problem.

Hey 19 year old, PS : If you have the attention span to understand personal development in 1 hour+ videos, look up Actualized.org if you want in depth videos for existential crises, not just the mundane.

Hey 19 year old, When stuck on a problem, describe the problem in one sentence. Then use a thesaurus to find synonyms for the words in that sentence, and see if the slight changes in words gives you any new ideas.

Hey 19 year old, Sometimes you can do everything right, and still lose. Sometimes you can do your best, and still fail. It's not your fault, and it's okay to be upset. Just know that you can always try again.

Hey 19 year old, If you doodle and you're a visual learner, look up sketchnoting or visual notetaking when it comes to college or learning anything in general.

Hey 19 year old, If you're not ready to let it go yet, give yourself time to be upset over the situation. Yes, it's not meant to be for forever, but don't expect yourself to get over it immediately in just one day either.

Hey 19 year old, Sometimes you have to ask, what motivates you outside of what external voices say to you? Why do you do what you do in life? Why do others tell you something is true or false? Keep asking why.

Hey 19 year old, Some people are too rebellious, yes, to the point of dangerous things, but I'd argue some people are not rebellious enough. Where you just copy everything your parents and family want for you, meaning you're still stuck in childhood.

Hey 19 year old, For showing love in romance or even to friends and family, try to look up on different love languages, because many arguments in relationships come from having different ways to express love.

Hey 19 year old, Young adulthood is almost like a second puberty, not physically, but emotionally. You're forced to emotionally grow a lot, and it's extremely awkward, if not even more awkward than physical puberty. It's normal.

Hey 19 year old, If a workplace wants you to intern for free, run in the other direction. It's a red flag for an abusive workplace, and unless it's a very prestigious company to put on your resume, unpaid internships is a waste of time.

Hey 19 year old, If you can't get yourself to read whole books on personal development yet, at least go look up some personal development blogs, self help blogs, personal finance blogs or any blogs that will help you. Just think critically on who to trust.

Hey 19 year old, If you need help relaxing, look up some white noise or relaxing sounds to listen to. Either you can listen to it on its own, or play it while studying, chores or something similar to focus better.

Hey 19 year old, It doesn't always fix everything, but it can work as good support for your goals. Just know that whatever practical or emotional goal you have, know there is some kind of app to help you.

Hey 19 year old, If you need to, you can look up some free courses online from prestigious universities and other colleges on websites like Edx, Coursera, Udacity and Udemy. If you want a certificate for proof though, you have to pay.

Hey 19 year old, You're an adult, and legally, you can watch porn. The problem is when watching porn consumes your life so much that you ignore what's important, that it becomes an addiction. Look up on porn addiction for more help. Porn in moderation.

Hey 19 year old, If you're an adult and yet you don't want to drink, it's okay to say no. It doesn't mean you don't know how to have fun. Often people who can only have fun when drinking are the most boring people.

Hey 19 year old, Women are allowed to be sexual, and men are allowed to be nonsexual. Yes, women can also watch porn, masturbate and have orgasms. Yes, men can also prioritize romance over sex, not even want to have sex, or just be virgins too.

Hey 19 year old, I don’t see the wisdom of this plan [I do not think that it is a good idea ]

Hey 19 year old, If you need to make bigger decisions or even need help with smaller ones, learn to just write down the pros and cons of each decision. Then you can rate it with plus or minus points, depending on how personally important each is to you.

Hey 19 year old, Learn to have a balance of improving strengths and decreasing weaknesses. If you focus on strengths all the time, get out of your comfort zone with weaknesses. If you lack focus on improving what you're best at, focus on strengths.

Hey 19 year old, Be careful when getting life advice from movies, whether in your relationships, your studies, your mental health, and more. When looking for advice, trust non-fiction over fictional sources. Recognize the assumptions media makes.

Hey 19 year old, If you have trouble speaking in front of an audience, imagining people in their underwear often doesn't work. Instead, think about how someone, even one person, could have a better day due to what you say, after being so stressed.

Hey 19 year old, If you need help with social situations in all kinds of relationships or in future/present workplaces, study books or at least articles online on different body language. It will help you find insight in how people work.

Hey 19 year old, Even if it turns out the universe has no meaning, then know that you can create your own meaning. Your subjective sense of what matters has meaning even if it's not objective, because all human desires in the end are subjective and emotional.

Hey 19 year old, If you don't know who you are and are confused, know that you're not just one thing. You're a multitude of things, all combined into one person. Identity isn't something you can answer in one word or one sentence. Write a whole book.

Hey 19 year old, We're all going to have times where we sacrifice some sleep for college, but don't let studying for college sacrifice your health to the extreme. If you're going to at least pass, risking fainting from exhaustion is not worth a perfect grade.

Hey 19 year old, Study hard if you're in college, but don't let your grades define you as a person. I'm not saying don't care about studies at all, but it's not the only thing about yourself that you should value. You are more than that, really.